...6 Days...6 Dias...6 Jours...

A week from now, I'll be getting ready for my first night at the MTC. So weird! Time's running out. I feel like time is so precious, and yet mostly I just wanna sit at home lol. As the time comes closer, my emotions get more and more intensely bipolar. Sometimes I'm so very excited. Other times I get sooo nervous and can't help but ask myself, "What the heck am I doing?" I wish I could skip over saying goodbyes to my family. Ugh. I'm really bad at that kind of stuff. It's just hard to gauge or prepare because different people say such different things. Some people are extremely homesick and struggle with so many different things on their mission. Others (like my sister Sarah) don't get homesick, don't struggle with companions, and just love their experience so much. So where will I be on the spectrum? I suppose it's mostly up to me to decide that. Is it strange that it overwhelms me to think that it's all on me to decide how to react? Because then I know if I'm having a bad/hard experience, I mostly have myself to blame.
Dear self, please choose to enjoy yourself and focus on the positive lol.
Also, if anybody--for some strange reason--had a desire to become a human watering-pot, I'd recommend preparing to serve a mission. I don't know what it is, but GEEZ. I'm like always on the edge of tears. It's out of control lol. I think it's because I know I'm getting myself into something that's gonna take all the faith I can muster.  But, really, I've been happier these past few months than I can ever remember. It's like I had forgotten what life was supposed to be like. I didn't even know how heavy all the crap was that I was carrying until I finally let it go. I was holding onto those things so hard for so long--terrified of change--but, man oh man, if I'd known what I was missing out on...
Anyway, a lot of my family went to the Timpanogos Temple today. I really need to work on how I talk about people. I have no room to talk about anyone, really. You just NEVER know why people are the way they are. I've got a lot to work on in that area. I'm grateful for my family and friends. I'm grateful for the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. I really like getting to know people. I think I had forgotten that for awhile...lol.
Sleep time..

So...if anyone was thinking of going to the doctor, let me give you some numbers to think about before you make that decision. The first number is 150. That's how many dollars it cost total for my 6 minutes with the doctor. 1500. That's how much he could make an hour at that rate. Let's break down the 150. 87. That's how much me just having any sort of appointment cost. 63. That's how much it cost me to breathe into a plastic tube. 0. That's how much help that visit was since the doctor had no idea what was wrong with me.
Next time I'll breathe into my own plastic tube, thanks.
On a happier note ♪, I went shopping with my mom today. Wal Mart, Costco, and Granato. Pure delight. Here are the reasons:
1. I got red lipstick
2. Costco samples fed me lunch
3. I got Haribo candy (Build-a-burger and cherries) and an oh-so-cute package of Mini Ritter Sport chocolate

Last night, we went to the Mo Tab Christmas concert. Umm WOW. So amazing. Basically I have a huge crush on David Archuleta. Probably along with everyone else who was there. He has such an amazing voice--on tune the WHOLE time. He's also just adorable--so obviously sincere and humble. Nuff said about that lol. But Michael York told stories of WALES! I was so excited lol. The choir sounded incredible, as usual. The organist, Richard Elliott, did a solo that was sooo cool to watch and hear. I never realized how complicated it is to play an organ. Wow. The decorations were sooo beautiful, the dancers did great.
It was a bit sad to me to see how PACKED it was and to know that it's not even like that for conference when the prophet speaks.

So THIS is what it feels like...

..to be HAPPY. I've been wondering what it is about my life that has made me so happy recently...That probably sounds silly. When happiness comes, you just accept it, no questions asked. Right? Maybe that's right. If it is, I failed. I thought I'd get to the bottom of it and figure out the cause so that I can make sure that happiness doesn't go anywhere. It's an interesting feeling I've had recently. It feels like I got something back that I didn't even know I was missing. I don't remember a time when I felt happier. It's not that I don't have problems right now. There are always plenty of those. But I really think I've tracked down the source of the contentment I've been feeling. I've been working so hard in my studies recently, preparing like crazy to be a missionary. I know that not everyone has the luxury of spending so much time studying. People have families, school, demanding jobs. But although the amount of time I've devoted to my studies contributes, I'm sure, I don't think that's where the answer is. It's the motivation behind those studies.
Going on a mission is a big leap of faith for me--it's a leap of faith for anyone, I realize. I'm scared half to death by a lot of the situations I'll probably encounter, by the tests my personality and character will run up against. I'm sure the feeling is shared by most missionaries, but geez, it's a powerful one! When I was younger, I thought I'd serve a mission. Then, the closer I got to mission age, the more I thought that it was probably just too hard. I never felt very propelled in that direction, but I never really prayed about it either. My decision to serve a mission was thus very sudden but very powerfully-inspired. And you know what? The preparation alone which I've done for my mission has been worth it. I'm a different person than I was 4 or 5 months ago. I know that my mission will challenge me more than I've ever been challenged before--it will also bring me the most happiness I've had.
But back to the subject--as I've been studying these past few months, I have had very specific and poignant concerns constantly on my mind and in my heart. That has made all the difference in the world. For once I feel like my will is in alignment (at least relatively so) with God's. In the past, I studied so hard--I really did. I studied during times that tried me where I never thought I'd be tried. But I was still holding tight to my will. I didn't want to listen to God's answers to me because I was scared of what that meant I'd have to give up. It took me 5 whole years to finally let go of that one situation. And now that I've let go, I realize what I chose to miss out on because of pride, because of a refusal to truly trust God with my life, because of an unwillingness to believe that God knows what my life really should be like. I took the long way. The really long way. The not-so-scenic route, covered in stinging nettle, poison ivy, and rocks. I took my way--which I thought was synonymous with "the easy way." But I've learned a lesson. Boy, did I ever learn! And now I hope I'm doing it His way. If that means diving into waters whose depths I don't even know, so be it. I don't even know how to dive! But I'll take that any day over what I put myself through these last few years. Because what I did was taking my burdens to the Lord, telling him about them, crying to Him, but refusing to believe that those were burdens I didn't have to carry.
As the year 2010 comes to a close, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Life didn't look so promising at the beginning of this year. In fact, 2010 was my hardest year yet--by a long shot. I've discovered weaknesses I never knew I had, I've had to let go of people I thought would always be in my life, I've had days where I felt like I was worth next-to-nothing. This year was an emotional rollercoaster--if there are rollercoasters that just keep taking you down and down lol. But I don't say all of this to complain. I say it to give contrast. Because I'm ending this year on a great note. And I know what has made the difference.

Babysatting 'n stuff

Tonight I babysat my cousin Trevor's kids--Jace (3 yrs) and Lexi (6 mos). Jace walked in the door and immediately took off his jacket and shoes, all chucked on the floor, and headed to the piano to start playing. A promising start to an amusing night.
Anyway, after playing on the piano for a bit, petting the cat, and commenting on how the pine needles were falling off the Christmas tree, Jace announced that he was going upstairs. He went into the spare room and kept saying, "There are so many toys in here!" He got into the lego bin and expressed disappointment at the fact that there was no engine so that he could make a train. I told him we should take everything downstairs so we could make sure Lexi didn't wake up and cry.
We took the bin downstairs and Jace said, "There are so many movies!" The legos were completely forgotten. He picked out 101 Dalmations and screamed, "I'm going to watch 101 DALMATIONS!" He stuffed that VHS tape into the VCR, and we started watching it. That's right. A VHS! Haven't watched one of those in years. Can't even tell you how amusing it was to watch with him. He was completely enthralled. His facial expressions were priceless. He was laughing hysterically at the "twilight bark" part of the movie. The energy of that kid was incredible. He was bouncing up and down. Never stayed in the same position for more than a minute at a time. Here are some photos I took of him watching the movie:

Concentrating hard

Sitting still

Bouncing up and down

Super stressed because the puppies were trying to escape in the movie

At this point, Jace starts yelling, "Can we POD the movie I have to go POTTY!!!" "POD the movie! I have to go POTTY!!" hahaha We were all laughing so hard. He came back and said, "I'm done now." 

Back to being relaxed...

Amazingly he looked at me for a shot. Most of the time he was unresponsive to any attempt to talk to him.

My personal favorite

He was hanging and swinging on this at one point, all the while watching 101 Dalmations and Lady and the Tramp

Smiling at the movie :)

Such focus

When his parents came partway through Lady and the Tramp, our attempts to turn off the movie were pretty traumatic for him. We let him borrow the movie instead. Never seen anyone more grateful for something than he was for that lol.
Anyway, Lexi slept most the time. She finally woke up though :)   

Just woke up from a long nap

Happy face :)

Nice hair!

Jealous of the dark eyes and light hair

She got into the movie, too lol

So that was the night. It was good to be around little ones for a change. Adults can be tiring. Here are some other pics I haven't posted...

Decorating the tree for FHE

Ornaments :)

The Eiffel Tower!

Grandpa Neal

My view of the Temple after an endowment session

Tim and I put up the Christmas lights today. Mostly Tim did lol. But it was in the cold rain, so it wasn't very fun. Afterward, Tim came in and goes, "Bad news. I think we did it the wrong way." We started with the wrong end of the lights :( Which means Tim had to redo it all later...especially since half the lights came down hahahaha. Yay for Christmas!

Unemployed

Well, it's official. I don't have a job. I feel pretty great about that fact right now. It's Wednesday night, and I don't have to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow morning.
HALLELUJAH
4 weeks from today I'll be Hermana Maxwell, complete with orange dork dot. It feels a lot closer now that I'm done with work. I don't think I've ever both dreaded and been so excited for something at the same time. I've got a LOT of things I want to get done before I leave. One of them I just was inspired on today. I'm going to sit down with my Grandma Colleen and record some stories from her life. I don't know how long she'll be with us, and with me leaving, I know the time to do that is now. I think that I'll be sooo very grateful I did that in the future. I ran the idea by Tim, and he said he had actually thought about doing that as well. I think it'll be an amazing experience for me to listen to Grandma's life stories. So many people admire her, most of all those who know her best--her family. I thought about how there's a whole biography on Grandpa Neal, but nothing near that on Grandma. She's been with him every step of the way, and she will have some amazing things to tell, I know.
On a lighter note, I found some GOLDEN pictures from a couple years ago. Let me share :)

Well, now that I've lazed around for 3 hours, it's time to do some studying :) I've been slacking in the Spanish grammar and vocab department--so much to learn.

Once in a Lifetime...

So a couple weeks ago, my Dad asks me if I want to be his date to the Deseret Management Corporation Christmas dinner. "Don't feel obligated. I know you're busy, and maybe you just don't want to, which is fine." I told him I'd love to go.
We walk onto the 9th floor of the JSMB today and one of the first things someone says to my dad is, "You're at President Packer's table." Uhhh...So we check out the seating chart. Some names that stuck out to me: Thomas Monson, Russell Nelson, Todd Christofferson, Sheri Dew, Henry Eyring. The entire First Presidency was there, as were 9 of the 12 Apostles. How very like my dad to play it down and act like he'd have to twist my arm to go.
Anywho, we sat down with President and Sister Packer and 4 others. One of those four was Brent Singleton--head of Temple Square Hospitality. What does this have to do with anything? Well I'll tell you. We sat next to these people for 2 1/2 hours during which we were brought 3 different courses. This man Brent is the head guru in charge of ALLLL church food services. And of course I wasn't really hungry. As the waitresses bring our food, fill our drinks, and ask us if we're done, he's calling them each by name. He's sitting there explaining what we're eating, what's in the sauces and such, and keeps glancing at my plate because I was hardly eating. I felt really bad. Sorry, Brent. I did, however, find room for most of the dessert. I'm really good at that.
President and Sister Packer kindly asked me about my mission call, when I'm leaving, where I'm going to learn Spanish. Sister Packer is sooo sweet. I like her a lot. President Monson was sitting directly behind me. I couldn't help looking at him and President Packer and thinking about how I'll soon be testifying about them to the people in Bolivia. That puts a different perspective on things.
President Uchtdorf spoke to us. All the Brethren are so likeable. He shared some of what President Monson said at the First Presidency Christmas Devotional--about how much we find joy in the Christmas season is dependent upon how much we seek Christ. Something like that--something I hadn't remembered hearing in the devotional. President Uchtdorf also said this, which I really liked, "Unity brings harmony." It reminded me of the C.S. Lewis quote from the Great Divorce: "Even on the biological level life is not like a pool but like a tree. It does not move towards unity but away from it and the creatures grow further apart as they increase in perfection. Good, as it ripens, becomes continually more different not only from evil but from other good."
Afterward, I got to meet Elder Holland. Yay! I love that man. Most all the life-changing talks I've heard or read have been from him. I can remember vividly how I felt during his talk on Prison Temples at BYU, how I felt when he spoke about the nature of God in conference a couple years ago, and how I felt during his conference talk about the Book of Mormon a year ago. For whatever reason, he speaks my language. My dad introduced me and told him that he has a lot of fans in the Maxwell household. Elder Holland said, "We sure have a lot of Maxwell fans in our household!" His wife was absolutely so gracious. When she heard I'm serving a mission, she was so happy for me and told me she's proud of me. She said Bolivia is one of her favorite countries. Elder Holland asked me where in Bolivia I'll be serving. He said he's been in the mission home of Santa Cruz, etc. He asked about my momma and he said, "How's AJ? Tell AJ hi." With all the stuff he has on his mind, it amazes me that he thinks to ask those things, much less to remember NAMES.
I also got to meet President and Sister Uchtdorf. President Uchtdorf kept telling my dad how much he loves and appreciates him. He told me how amazing my dad is. Many people did the same lol.
As we were leaving, I also met Elder and Sister Nelson, and Elder and Sister Andersen. Sister Andersen is TINY! And adorable. She kept talking about Grandma Colleen and how she wants to be like her, how she needs to call her and stop by, etc. Elder Andersen was super nice. All the Brethren were so great to socialize with people when they have so many duties. The most amazing men out there. President Monson was being accosted left and right lol.
Anyway, good night. I was just grateful to be in the presence of such amazing men.
Tomorrow's my last day of work! Hallelujah! Sad in some ways, but also relieving since I have lots to do before I leave. Speaking of which, time to go study.

A Goooood Weekend

Our Wales Reunion--so good to see all the Welshies again. It was fun catching up with all of them.

My Staci :)

Our outing to get the Christmas Tree--it took us approximately 7 minutes to choose a tree. However, putting the tree UP was a different story. THAT was a whole lot of work.

                                                     My little broskee and me

After my endowment session

Those who came to my endowment session: Tim, Sarah, Eric, Liz, Emily, Mom, Dad (in the picture) and Grandma Janet, Reed, Tracy, Jay, Jane, and Marc. We also got to see Linda and Thom Harrison at the very end of the session. Perfect.

Such a good weekend!

Paris Snapshots

One of the rooms in Fontainebleau Château

At the Middle Ages Museum--an altarpiece. These things are so amazingly detailed.

Inside le Musée du Moyen Age

Hand-painted and -written books

I frickin' loooove these books

Middle Ages Museum

Burrito Fête with some of the Paris St Merri and Paris Lilas missionaries.

The Paris letters at Vincennes

With the Paris Lilas sisters

I took a day trip to Chantilly--paid 17 euros to get there. It was a Tuesday...

I stupidly forgot that Tuesday in France=EVERYTHING is closed. But I got to walk around the château and the city at a time when it was pretty much deserted. A-mazing.

My new favorite street in Paris--Rue Mouffetard. This street is GOLD. Not literally, but they have every French store you can imagine--fromageries, pâtisseries, boulangeries, poissonneries, crêperies, boucheries, charcuteries, etc.

The Eiffel Tower from the Trocardero

The Eiffel Tower from the Arc de Triomphe

A gypsy begging on the Champs-Elysées

La Durée with Kacy and Mariya

An alley on Rue Mouffetard...random artwork

I thought this looked pretty cool--at Fontainebleau Château

Fontainbleau--the sky was amazingly blue that day

That was the sunrise the morning I left Paris--perfect ending :)

Champs Elysées on my first night--I was soooo happy to be in Paris

The Louvre

I love this map so very much--the metro and RER map

Rive Gauche (Left Bank) of the Seine

                                                         Hôtel de Ville

The armpit of Paris aka George Pompidou Modern Art Museum. Tim said it reminds him of Mario. Unique as it may be, I think it's hideous.

                                                        Hôtel de Ville at sunset

                                                                Notre Dame at sunset

Inside Notre Dame

                                           This frame...apparently Louis XIV didn't think less was more

                                                   The dogs at Château de Cheverny

                                                     Chambord has the coolest staircases...and 365 fireplaces

                                                         One of the horses at Chambord

                                Place des Voges where Victor Hugo lived--Renaissance architecture at its best

                                                               The Pantheon near la Sorbonne

                      McDonald's dessert menu--it totally reminded me of the game Candyland

                                                       The Christmas Tree at Galeries Lafayette

           Soooo good. My Italian panini and nutella crêpe at Rue Mouffetard. 5 euros for this. Yum.

                                                                        Rue Mouffetard

                                                                  The Eiffel Tower from the Trocadero

                These were at the Swarovski store on the Champs Elysées--check out the prices lol

                                        Macaroons at Ladurée--I snuck a picture before getting in trouble

                                             I've always loved this sign on the metro and RER...Wannabe Bugs Bunny

                                                                          Fontainebleau

                                                             Galeries Lafayette on my last night in Paris