The Dentist Diaries

Here are some parts of today's trip to the dentist that I didn't love:

--Three shots of Novocaine. Okay, so I liked them because they made later pain much less than it otherwise would have been, but there's something about a big, fat needle entering the roof of my mouth that I just am not crazy about.
--The water from the dental hygienist's squirter cascading down both sides of my face, down my neck, and into my hair/shirt.
--Feeling around my mouth with my tongue at one point, only to discover almost my whole tooth had been shaved off. There was just a wee bit left. I want my tooth back.
--The smell and sight of tooth shavings coming off the drill
--The laser the dentist used to burn off tissue around my tooth. Why this is necessary is beyond me. Even with three shots of Novocaine, I could feel that one. I did get to wear special green sunglasses during lasertime, though.
--The taste of the crown mold I had to keep in my mouth for 5 minutes. That purple crap tasted awful and stuck my numb lips to the molding stick. I'm still finding traces of purple on my lips.
--After 45 minutes, when the dentist gets out the drill and says, "Let's see if this area is completely numb." Umm must we do a trial and error experiment? Why not just stick some more Novocaine in there?
--How it wasn't completely numb. I could feel the work they did on my bottom pre-molar. But for some reason, even when the dentist asked, "You doing all right?" I said, "Yeah!" Not just "Yeah," but "Yeah!" I should've just asked for more Novocaine.
--The "rubber dam" (damn's more like it) that they put on my face. I especially have bad feelings toward the elastic contraption that they seem to shove up into the brain region based on how much pain it causes. Even being completely numb, I want to cry when they jam those things into my gums.
--When the dentist told me my temporary crown can be pulled out by pulling straight down. In his words, "If it comes off, you won't feel any pain, but it will look kinda funny." Um, yeah, based on how much tooth was left before you put the crown on, I think "kinda funny" is a slight understatement.
--The temporary crown. As I looked in the mirror after my appointment, I was less than enthusiastic about it. It looks like my tooth went through the war. And the gum above it looks angry at how it was treated. I'm pretty sure it feels violated.

Why do I pay this man to hurt me?
But hey, at least I can chew. Thanks, dentist.

Skeletons or cobwebs?

I'm definitely not one who claims deep or comprehensive political knowledge, but I do have a brain. So, lemme get this straight--based on today's news and the comments people are making, our nation would apparently prefer a poor candidate who doesn't know how to handle money to be a key figure in handling the national budget? Everybody seems to be so up in arms over Mitt Romney's wealth and his tax disclosures. Firstly, Romney paid the taxes required of him by the government. That's a good thing, right? He didn't set the tax rate on his income, contrary to what people's reactions seem to imply. Second, people seem to be upset about his charitable contributions to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Getting a deduction as a result of paying tithing is not the same as doing it in order to GET the deduction. Correlation is not causation. But people just can't possibly believe the best of someone when there's another option open to them. In a country where religion is becoming more and more taboo, so many don't seem to be capable of understanding faith-based actions like tithe-paying.
So the apparent favorite is not the business-savvy, clean-cut, principled, well-to-do Mitt Romney

but rather the hypocritical, unfaithful, explosive Newt Gingrich?

I must be missing something here. It's incredibly sad to me how mistrusting people are of Mitt Romney--like they just can't believe that somebody could be as strait-laced and genuine as Mitt comes off to be. And if they believe it, they don't like it. "He's too cold," they say. Our society is much too accustomed to skeletons in the closet to believe it when they see a closet free of skeletons. So they point out the crooked shelves or the cobwebs. And somehow, for more and more Americans, Newt's numerous skeletons pale in comparison to Mitt's cobwebs. Mitt Romney has been criticized for flip-flopping. Apparently it's better to remain in one stance, oblivious to the other side of the argument, in ignorance, than to learn, think, and change. I'm not in favor of a candidate who's constantly back and forth, but it's natural for people to progress in their thinking. More obviously and importantly still, I think, is this: Mitt Romney was governor of a state. Does it occur to anyone else that someone's ideas of what is appropriate on the state level might differ from what they believe to be right on the federal level? Isn't that the whole reason we have different levels of government? I dunno, maybe we need another 4 years of Obama (cuz let's be honest, Newt ain't gonna win that one!) as a metaphorical slap in the face for America.

Cereal

My morning started out with me pouring my cereal onto a plate. Real promising start, right?

Broken record

I'm allowed a few broken record posts, right?
Just have to say that I am so much more excited than you even think to go to school in London!
I just pow-wow'd with a co-worker who lived in London for quite some time. She was giving me all sorts of tips and pointers as we looked at Google Maps. Man, oh man. I. Am. Pumped.
Pumped and wary. Because it seems like sometimes I get all psyched up for something amazing like this, and then it doesn't happen. I've got 7 1/2 months until I'd be heading over, so I'm trying to cautiously plan.

I'd like for these places to be in my future. Please.

"The other dentist"

Let's talk about a man I call "the other dentist." Some background: this past week or so, I've had some bad pain on one side of my mouth, resulting in hyper-sensitivity to temperature and an aching jaw. Finally I caved and decided to go to the dentist. Since I'm in Orem now, I looked up dentists covered by my insurance provider and basically just chose one. I don't even know what his name is, so I just call him "the other dentist." Because I really resent him lol. Here's why:
I went to see him, let him know the symptoms and where it felt like their origins were, and his assistant took an X-ray--one X-ray of one part of my mouth. Really thorough, right? "The other dentist" brings the X-ray in, and starts talking about molar 19 and how it's starting to crack, blah blah blah=$1400. With insurance, I'd be paying $458 out of my pocket. He wanted to put a crown on that bottom molar. In his words, "We'll put a crown on it, see how it does, and if it doesn't do well, we'll have to do a root canal." In my head, I'm thinking, "You want to make me pay $458 for a procedure you're not even sure is the right one? How bout we get it right the first time?" He gets up to leave, and before he can take off and forget all about me, I ask him what I can do for the pain in the meantime. Isn't it his job to address these issues?? He decides maybe he'll prescribe me amoxycillin (which I'm allergic to) and lortab (which I hate with a fiery passion.) Then he forgets to give me said prescription. The heck, man?

Nuh-uh. No way. I'm not about to let this dude operate on my teeth when he's not even sure about any of the things we've talked about. He inspired about as much confidence as a drunk weatherman.
So I call my family dentist who is also in my family ward. He just so happens to be out of the office for the next week. My mom calls another family friend, Dr. Larsen, and he got me in yesterday. Thank heaven. Because he looked at my mouth, took X-rays (of all my teeth) and said there was nothing wrong with the tooth "the other dentist" wanted to crown. I was kind of seething inside when I heard that. The real problem wasn't even on the bottom half of my mouth. "The other dentist" was looking at the wrong pole. He was looking in Antarctica, and the problem was in the North Pole. Problem tooth is number 5--a tooth on the top of my mouth, 4th from the back. That one needs a root canal. It was as simple as Dr. Larsen using an ice stick and placing it on each tooth to find the culprit. It took about 15 seconds for us to discover which tooth was the guilty party. The pain I was having in my lower jaw is called "referred pain," a result of the layout of dental nerve pathways which can cause pain to be felt in location different from its real source. I felt like slapping "the other dentist," but since I don't carry out violent mental plans (no matter how ingenious they are), and because he was 40 miles away from the dental chair I was in, I didn't.

If I had let "the other dentist" have his way, I'd have paid $458 for an operation I didn't need, which would have entirely missed the real problem. I'd be $500 out and still in pain, with an imminent abscess. The real problem, incidentally, will still cost me a pretty penny since it entails a root canal and a crown. But I'm content because I trust the dentist doing the work, and he even showed me what's going on, explained how it works, etc.
The more I think about "the other dentist," the more I resent him. This guy works at Monarch Dental with a whole bunch of other dentists--it's not a private practice. They're near campus, so I'm sure a significant part of their patient base is students who are one-timers. They have no incentive to provide the best service since, no matter what they do, most of their patients won't be lifetime ones. I feel so taken advantage of by the guy! It's gonna take me awhile to forgive him lol. But seriously, growing up, I guess I was ignorant enough (I call it innocent, misplaced faith) about medical matters to assume that, go to any doctor/dentist, you'll get the same diagnosis and treatment. Obviously, that's a far cry from reality, but you'd think they'd at least try to make a correct diagnosis. Right? Is my resentment apparent yet? lol I hate feeling like I have to be wary every time I visit a doctor or dentist because they don't really have my best interests at heart. I'd rather feel like I can trust them. But "the other dentist" poked a big, fat hole in that mentality. And when I think about the fact that he had the X-ray he needed to diagnose the right problem...grrr. Either he didn't look at the whole X-ray, didn't recognize the problem, or didn't tell me the real problem. Dr. Larsen, on the other hand, suspected the diagnosis from a cursory exam. He told me that it doesn't even take a dentist to recognize the decay apparent in the X-ray.

In better news for my future, I think I've flossed three times since I got home from my appointment yesterday. This girl will now floss as diligently as she has brushed. Take that, "the other dentist."

The year of the unexpected

"Couldn't have seen that one coming!"--that's how I'd sum up 2011. Here's what I thought I'd be doing in 2011:

• Serving a mission in Santa Cruz, Bolivia
• 

Here's a breakdown of what I ended up doing in 2011:

• 3 incredibly amazing weeks in the Provo MTC

• Unexpected 6 weeks in the Lima, Peru MTC

• A couple very turbulent weeks in Santa Cruz, Bolivia

• Home at the end of March

• 5 weeks in Thailand with Janella

• Getting to participate in Elder Bednar's book for the recorded YSA group discussion

• Sending off two best friends to the same mission in August/September

• Moving to Orem with Sarah and Emily

• Being called into the Relief Society Presidency

• Getting a job at BYU

• Starting to work at the Provo Temple with Sarah and Grandma Janet (I don't have a picture of me actually working in the temple obviously haha)

• Applying to grad schools in the U.K. and being accepted so far to:

So...a very unexpected year. I still ache for being a missionary on a fairly regular basis, it's true. But this has been a good year--a great year, actually. More life experience than I had anticipated, most definitely. It's not a year I was prepared for, but I feel like I've grown a lot. I know that 2012 will be a great year. I can just feel it. Whatever happens, I'm doing what I love, and I feel much lighter and happier than I did the past few years. If all goes as planned, I'll be in the U.K. at school in 8 months. I'm excited for this year's adventures.

Humor

I've thought about humor a lot lately--what makes us laugh, but more of what should make us laugh. You know what I'm talking about--sometimes you're watching a movie, and an off-color joke comes up, and you find yourself simultaneously laughing and scolding yourself for laughing. I don't really understand this when it happens to me--I suppose it's all a part of the gap between what I know and what I do. Integrity and all that.
I want to focus on a specific kind of humor, though: humor at the expense of others. I thought about this as I was playing games with my friends recently. The game we were playing turned into teasing "humor." As I watched those making the jokes laughing, I also observed the reactions of those who were the butt of the joke. A lot of times, their laughter seemed forced. Here's the thing I don't get--I'm pretty sure no one actually enjoys being made fun of. I suppose there are some situations where it's not hurtful, but for the most part, when someone makes fun of your appearance, your personality, etc. it's only really making everyone else laugh. We all play it off because no one wants to seem insecure or overly-sensitive or be the killjoy, but I think these type of jokes only serve to make people more insecure--even if imperceptibly. What makes us think it's okay to highlight and mock things someone has no control over (personal appearance/features) or something each individual is struggling to get control over (character/personality)? Even if it's supposedly "all in good fun?"
We discussed humor in my social psychology course--men, as a general rule, use more humor that is at the expense of others, also known as "aggressive humor." Women, as a general rule, use more self-deprecatory humor. From an evolutionary standpoint, men seek to be strong in comparison with those around them since they are the "protectors" and "providers"--for that reason, humor which targets weaknesses of others would serve their ends. Women, on the other hand, are the "nurturers," and therefore seek to make those around them feel comfortable and cared for. I think the gender differences in humor have lessened by a lot this century as independent, self-sufficient women are smiled upon more. But this means that more of us are using aggressive humor.
As I ponder the humor I find in those I care about most, the best example of humor that I can think of is my aunt Jane.

Jane, along with my Grandma Colleen and all her children (including my own dad), is one of the most caring people I know. I want to be her when I grow up. She is a master at making people feel at home and at highlighting and discovering their strengths and talents. Jane's humor is never at the expense of others--she loves to laugh at her own quirks and make others laugh with her. There's a difference between self-deprecating and self-defeating humor. To me it seems that healthy humor would be in hopes of getting someone to laugh with you rather than simply to laugh at you. Showing that we find humor in situations and circumstances we're placed in allows others to connect with us, making us more human to those around. Aggressive humor estranges others and places the joker and the object of the joke on different planes. Psychological studies show aggressive humor to be positively correlated with hostility and aggression. "Self-enhancing humor," where we find humor through our perspective on situations and circumstances, is positively correlated with cheerfulness, self-esteem, optimism, psychological well-being, and satisfaction with social support. Even if we think we're not hurting others with humor at their expense, it's hurting us.
If anyone is interested on what church leaders have to say about humor, here are some good excerpts I found:
From "If We Can Laugh At It, We Can Live With It"--a fantastic talk on humor.

There are times...when not everyone is laughing. We must be careful to distinguish between genuine humor, which everyone can enjoy, and hurtful humor, which is at someone else’s expense.

Even a hasty “just kidding” doesn’t excuse put-downs and other rude forms of hurtful humor. People may play along with the joke and even manage a little artificial laugh for the sake of the audience, but the resulting wounds go deep. Many remember hurtful comments for years, and relationships may be damaged or destroyed.

The scriptures instruct us to strengthen one another in all our conversations (see D&C 108:7). Humor should be used to build and uplift. Jokes are more fun when they help people feel good about themselves, not embarrassed. 

From Elder Holland's advice on dating and courtship,

“In a dating and courtship relationship, I would not have you spend five minutes with someone who belittles you, who is constantly critical of you, who is cruel at your expense and may even call it humor. Life is tough enough without having the person who is supposed to love you lead the assault on your self-esteem, your sense of dignity, your confidence, and your joy. In this person’s care you deserve to feel physically safe and emotionally secure."

From "Is Anyone Laughing?":

Keeping a sense of humor helps us endure the trials of life. It is truly medicine to the soul (see Proverbs 17:22). However, not all humor is good humor. Elder Robert E. Wells of the First Quorum of the Seventy wrote: “For some people, sharp questions or quick rejoinders are habits. Criticism is a form of humor for them, and they enjoy feeling superior when they see someone else’s discomfort. This is a tragic, sinful attitude that must be changed” (“Overcoming Those Differences of Opinion,” Ensign, Jan. 1987, 60–61). 

We should be able to joke around with our friends, but there is a big difference between having fun with joking and making fun through joking. True friends help you feel better about yourself. They don’t try to make themselves feel better at your expense. True friends enjoy mutual trust as much as they enjoy a good laugh. True friends allow you to let your guard down instead of always requiring you to keep your defenses up.

How do you know if your comments are building or hurting, just plain fun or crossing the line? Here is a test: How many times do you have to follow your comments up with the words just kidding? People think they can say whatever they want and then excuse their insensitivity with a quick, “Just kidding.” It’s a cop-out.

God did not send us here to degrade each other, but to bless each other. The scriptures instruct us to strengthen one another in all our conversations (see D&C 108:7).

Most people realize that what they see on many TV programs is not real. They are able to recognize fake backdrops, fake snowflakes, and fake characters. So why is it so hard to recognize fake laughter? Negative humor hurts, and the resulting wounds go deep. In real life no one is laughing. Not really. Many remember careless comments for years. 

From "The Sensitive Way:"

Sometimes, too, our humor may be at the expense of others. Is there a barb in our joke? Could it hurt someone? Do we know the other person’s sensitive areas well enough to make what we feel is a humorous comment? 

President Hinckley's fantastic talk "The Need for Greater Kindness" doesn't speak of humor specifically, but it's a great reminder about kindness and charity.
Laughter and humor are wonderful parts of life, but I think we could all take a closer look at our humor, how it's affecting others, and what it says about ourselves. My personal goal is to have more charity even in humor.

And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.