The Dentist Diaries

Here are some parts of today's trip to the dentist that I didn't love:

--Three shots of Novocaine. Okay, so I liked them because they made later pain much less than it otherwise would have been, but there's something about a big, fat needle entering the roof of my mouth that I just am not crazy about.
--The water from the dental hygienist's squirter cascading down both sides of my face, down my neck, and into my hair/shirt.
--Feeling around my mouth with my tongue at one point, only to discover almost my whole tooth had been shaved off. There was just a wee bit left. I want my tooth back.
--The smell and sight of tooth shavings coming off the drill
--The laser the dentist used to burn off tissue around my tooth. Why this is necessary is beyond me. Even with three shots of Novocaine, I could feel that one. I did get to wear special green sunglasses during lasertime, though.
--The taste of the crown mold I had to keep in my mouth for 5 minutes. That purple crap tasted awful and stuck my numb lips to the molding stick. I'm still finding traces of purple on my lips.
--After 45 minutes, when the dentist gets out the drill and says, "Let's see if this area is completely numb." Umm must we do a trial and error experiment? Why not just stick some more Novocaine in there?
--How it wasn't completely numb. I could feel the work they did on my bottom pre-molar. But for some reason, even when the dentist asked, "You doing all right?" I said, "Yeah!" Not just "Yeah," but "Yeah!" I should've just asked for more Novocaine.
--The "rubber dam" (damn's more like it) that they put on my face. I especially have bad feelings toward the elastic contraption that they seem to shove up into the brain region based on how much pain it causes. Even being completely numb, I want to cry when they jam those things into my gums.
--When the dentist told me my temporary crown can be pulled out by pulling straight down. In his words, "If it comes off, you won't feel any pain, but it will look kinda funny." Um, yeah, based on how much tooth was left before you put the crown on, I think "kinda funny" is a slight understatement.
--The temporary crown. As I looked in the mirror after my appointment, I was less than enthusiastic about it. It looks like my tooth went through the war. And the gum above it looks angry at how it was treated. I'm pretty sure it feels violated.

Why do I pay this man to hurt me?
But hey, at least I can chew. Thanks, dentist.