A week from now, I'll be getting ready for my first night at the MTC. So weird! Time's running out. I feel like time is so precious, and yet mostly I just wanna sit at home lol. As the time comes closer, my emotions get more and more intensely bipolar. Sometimes I'm so very excited. Other times I get sooo nervous and can't help but ask myself, "What the heck am I doing?" I wish I could skip over saying goodbyes to my family. Ugh. I'm really bad at that kind of stuff. It's just hard to gauge or prepare because different people say such different things. Some people are extremely homesick and struggle with so many different things on their mission. Others (like my sister Sarah) don't get homesick, don't struggle with companions, and just love their experience so much. So where will I be on the spectrum? I suppose it's mostly up to me to decide that. Is it strange that it overwhelms me to think that it's all on me to decide how to react? Because then I know if I'm having a bad/hard experience, I mostly have myself to blame.
Dear self, please choose to enjoy yourself and focus on the positive lol.
Also, if anybody--for some strange reason--had a desire to become a human watering-pot, I'd recommend preparing to serve a mission. I don't know what it is, but GEEZ. I'm like always on the edge of tears. It's out of control lol. I think it's because I know I'm getting myself into something that's gonna take all the faith I can muster. But, really, I've been happier these past few months than I can ever remember. It's like I had forgotten what life was supposed to be like. I didn't even know how heavy all the crap was that I was carrying until I finally let it go. I was holding onto those things so hard for so long--terrified of change--but, man oh man, if I'd known what I was missing out on...
Anyway, a lot of my family went to the Timpanogos Temple today. I really need to work on how I talk about people. I have no room to talk about anyone, really. You just NEVER know why people are the way they are. I've got a lot to work on in that area. I'm grateful for my family and friends. I'm grateful for the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. I really like getting to know people. I think I had forgotten that for awhile...lol.
Sleep time..
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